Emotions evolved over millions of years to help creatures navigate opportunities & threats. But while emotions are generally helpful, they can become harmful. 

Shame is the emotion which evolved to warn us when our own behaviour endangers important relationships. Humans need to belong to a supportive network to survive, so this warning is invaluable.

Shame becomes harmful when it calcifies into the frightening conviction that fundamentally inadequate in some way, and thus intrinsically unworthy of relationships & in constant danger of being abandoned.

This conviction is typically held in the unconscious mind & body. It is toxic. It creates self-perpetuating spirals of suffering.

• It distorts the processes that gives rise to emotions, & causes mistakes when identifying opportunities & threats.
• It compels us to see ourselves through judgemental & self-shaming eyes, resulting in inner loneliness, & an escalating burden of toxic shame.
• It drives us to behave in ways which hurt and shame family, friends & colleagues. We spread toxic shame to others, while increasing the likelihood that we will be abandoned.  

This presentation explores shame-fuelled spirals of suffering by drawing on of evolution, psychology, psychodynamics & lived experience.